


Remus Lupin loves in secret

by Charlie_Quinn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, One Shot, a little angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:00:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26199721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlie_Quinn/pseuds/Charlie_Quinn
Summary: Remus Lupin has always loved in secret. Whether it’s his first love or the man he adored for years, Remus knew all about secrets.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Original Male Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 10





	Remus Lupin loves in secret

Remus has always loved in secret. 

He kissed Phoebe Carter hiden behind bare trees and fallen branches at the park when he was twelve and had gotten back from Hogwarts for Christmas friendless and sad. She had beautiful tightly curled black hair, unfortunately she also had rich brown skin. 

Lyall Lupin didn’t like people with dark skin. Lyall didn’t like many people. He only tolerated Remus for what he was. The man never really managed to keep the disgust from his eyes when faced with his son. When he found out Remus had been talking to Phoebe he had banned Remus from seeing her. He didn’t want his son mixing with that sort, no matter how tainted he already was. 

When Remus explained that to Phoebe, his face full of regret and apology she had nodded. Sighed and pecked him on the lips. She then held him by the shoulders and looked into his eyes. 

“Make some friends. You're far too lonely.” She has told him. 

Remus had nodded and gave her a bemused smile. Later he looked back fondly at memories of Phoebe. She had been the first person he like liked. 

Remus’ second kiss had come 2 years late when he was 14. Remus was away on summer holidays at home in wales. Perry McCain was two years older than Remus and worked in the record shop he frequented. Perry has jet black hair that if squinted you could pretend wasn’t dyed and milky blue eyes that weren’t too far off steel grey. 

Perry has been Remus’ second kiss and first for many other things. He had smiled a little too fondly as Remus bought his queen record and had squeezed his arm when he offered to show him the stones. 

Two days later they were snogging in Remus’ dad's barn. Remus presses against the hay bales so hard that the straw was digging into his back and tangling in his hair. Perry left Remus’ little welsh town that spring and went back to Ireland but Remus didn’t regret a moment of their illicit affair. 

Even when James pointed out the bruises on his knees he didn’t mind. They were the first he had gotten in a while born from something other than pain. Even if the bruises were formed in secret and neither friend nor family was any the wiser. 

Remus has had many kisses between the ages of 16 and 21. The first soft and tentative, drowning the post transformation pains and releasing a tidal wave of pent up feelings. The following ranged from fierce and unpredictable to short and sweet. 

All of those kisses were secret, some in the safety of the dorm or an empty room. After leaving Hogwarts a few closed mouth kisses were shared in view of close friends but the two never really let their guard down. Lyall Lupin never knew that his son was in love before he died, and Hope, not for lack of asking, never found out that he had been happy with someone. But she had had a look in her eyes like she knew when she told Remus he was loved when she died only months after her husband 

For years Remus had dreamed of silky black hair and those aristocratic cheekbones. It was during those six years that he had all of his other firsts. 

First time making love.  
First time falling for someone.

Then there was nothing for twelve years. No love or kisses that counted. Only one night stands and scuffles in bathrooms. Remus couldn’t have another secret because he was too weighed down with the guilt of the man he still wanted. 

After that long drought there was a short period of fertility. Two short years were kisses where out of love and tentative until passionate. Where trust was reaffirmed and reconciled. 

A final kiss that was unwillingly the last. A heart forced open but left empty and cold. Second chances that weren’t fully fulfilled and a bond of love never stated to those who loved them both. 

The next kiss Remus had was one of the few he regretted. 

A quick but passionate exploration done over photographs of lost love and through tears. With a woman who was just as broken as he was and had also lost someone. After that more kisses were shared. In kitchens and bedrooms. Away from prying judgemental eyes. Kisses filed with reassurance and promise. 

Kisses not made in spite of Sirius Black and Keira Good but because of them. Kisses that where wracked with guilt but filled with love. 

And then there was a marriage. Two people not whole or unbroken but better together. A child was born and kisses of love planted on his forehead. 

The final kiss was passionate and desperate. Made against a backdrop of slaughter and a soundtrack of suffering. Made in public and unhidden. 

And when Remus and his final love were buried, it was hand in hand. Proud of their love and in plain sight.


End file.
